Love As It Is

One of the best things you can do for any relationship is to Love As It Is, meaning learning to love a person for where they are—not for what should or could, but what it is.

Founder, Charell with parents at 2008 Delta Sigma Theta Cotillion

Founder, Charell with parents at 2008 Delta Sigma Theta Cotillion

One major relationship that depends on “Loving As It Is” is the one between parents and children. A parent’s love may be the only guaranteed unconditional love on earth. We are raised by our parents and all those experiences mold and shape us into the adults we become, good or bad those memories have left a permanent impression on us. As a daughter, growing up I wanted and expected my parents to do certain things and behave a certain way, I placed expectations on them and when they did not meet them I was unhappy. When their decisions flipped my world upside down I resented them and held onto childhood grudges, likely unbeknownst to them. There was even a time when I refused to say “I love you” to anyone at the end of a telephone call as my mind and heart were not in alignment, and I let my negative thoughts dictate how I should feel and act. Maybe you have also felt anger or simply confusion from how your parents raised you or the decisions they made. Know that what was done was not done out of evil, and it is very likely that we as their offspring have made decisions and actions that our parents didn’t agree with or understand. There is no handbook for being a mother or a father, it is the biggest undertaking a person will ever undergo, one that the lessons are learned while taking the test, and being a parent is often a thankless job. I have learned to love my parents for who they are and what they have done and continue to do, which in turn has made my love for them stronger than I could ever imagine. Once I stopped looking back at what should have been or what I would like it to have been and accept it for what is was my life got easier, love got easier and it became pure. Also, people change and our love must adapt to the changes they make. The woman who raised me at age 5 is not the mother I have today, and it is my responsibility to adjust my perception from who she was to who she is and allow my love to flow with her growth. We must remember that no one perfect, we are all individuals and because of that no one will fit the mold you create for them to reside in.

Love should be uninhibited and open to accept. Love places no boundaries because it is limitless and once we grasp that concept it becomes easier to love and be at peace with where our familial relationships are.